Hide and seek - FML

Today, I decided to hide in a bush, so I can jump out and scare my boyfriend. Well after 10 minutes of waiting, he ran up to the bush and started peeing. All over me. FML



Nectar’s sonar bottle caps could save $50B in stolen booze
Josh Constine

Bars lose 20 percent of their alcohol to overpours and “free” drinks for friends. That amounts to $50 billion per year in booze that mysteriously disappears, making life tough for every pub and restaurant. Nectar wants to solve that mystery with its ultrasound depth sensing bottle caps that measure how much liquid is left in […]

New shampoo - FML

Today washed my hair and I saw a brand new shampoo my husband bought, thinking great, I washed my beautiful platinum hair with dye for grey hair. Now my platinum blonde turned into grayish blue. FML

Babylon Health is building an integrated, AI-based health app to serve a city of 300K in England
Ingrid Lunden

After announcing a $550 million fundraise last August, U.K. AI-based health services startup Babylon Health is putting some of that money to use with its widest-ranging project to date. The company has inked a 10-year deal with the city of Wolverhampton in England to provide an integrated health app covering 300,000 people, the entire population of […]

Online life - FML

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

Devil parents - FML

Today, my mother-in-law said: "People who don't have kids are children of the devil." I'm infertile, she knows this. FML

Good deeds - FML

Today, I donated blood and the nurse said: "God blesses good deeds", when I get home, my mom tells me that we have to sell the house because we're broke. FML

Launch startup Skyrora successfully tests 3D-printed rocket engines powered by plastic waste
Darrell Etherington

Rocket launch startup Skyrora, an Edinburg-based company that’s developing a new launch vehicle for small satellites, has successfully tested its new rocket engines in their first stationary ground-firings, a huge step on the way towards developing their launch vehicle. Skyrora’s rocket engines are novel not only in their use of 3D printing, but also because […]

After sleepover - FML

Today, I was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. It was great, but after sleeping on their pull out couch, I woke up with six pimples on my face and a rash on my back. FML

New one - FML

Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML

Bachelor party - FML

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

AssoConnect is a service that helps you manage your non-profit organization
Romain Dillet

Meet AssoConnect, a French startup that is building a software-as-a-service application to give you all the tools you need to manage your non-profit organization (association in French). The company just raised a $7.7 million (€7 million) funding round with XAnge and ISAI leading the round. Various business angels, such as Nicolas Macquin, Rodolphe Carle, Michaël […]

Temper tantrum - FML

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

This is my life - FML

Today, I need money to fix my car, I need my car to get to work, and I need work to get money. FML

Much pleasure - FML

Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML.

Family life - FML

Today, my wife told me that she has been unhappy for a long time and wanted a divorce. We bought a 200,000 house 6 months ago and we bought her a brand new car 2 months ago. Unhappy for a long time? FML

Yes or No? - FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

Very important note - FML

Today, the teacher said the class today was very important and that we should take note. Instead of writing notes, I bought a recorder and brought it to class. After class, I listened to the recording and all I could hear was muffled voices. FML

Best uncle - FML

Today, I realized that the last 3 months, I've been taking care of my girlfriends 1 year old kid. The other night, she told me that I was a good uncle to him. FML

Beautiful wife - FML

Today, while at work my boss congrats me on how good my new wife is. She's the reason I got this job. FML

Not allowed - FML

Today, I bought my first vibrator, which I have to hide cause my mom is super uptight and thinks all forms of pleasure are immoral. Unfortunately, she found it within 5 minutes of me hiding it and grounded me for a month, but that night, I actually caught her using it. I'm still grounded, hypocritical woman. FML

My homework - FML

Today, my mom called to tell me that I needed to clean the side of her couch. Why? Because someone picked their nose and wiped snot all on the side of it. She thinks it was me because I sat there last. It was not me, and I don't even live there, I have 2 teenage siblings that blame everything on me. FML

What a tragedy - FML

Today, I returned home from a vacation with my fiancée to celebrate our engagement. When we got home, she eagerly announced her engagement... to another man. She does not understand why I am upset because she ‘is happy, and that is what matters’. FML

Birthday gift - FML

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML

Because of him - FML

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated ... FML

[Easy English Blog] Snow at last

It snowed the other day. This was our first snowfall for two years. Two years ago, we had the heaviest snowfall in around 35 years. Last year, it didn’t snow at all. We had a mild winter. This year, we have had a mild winter again. It has only snowed for one day so far. … Continue reading [Easy English Blog] Snow at last

Nova Credit banks $50M to expand its service sourcing credit reports across borders
Ingrid Lunden

Around 70% of the world’s population now has some form of bank account or — thanks to mobile phones — a facility to receive and send money virtually, according to the World Bank. But when it comes to people crossing borders and setting up lives in new countries, they essentially leave behind their financial histories, […]

Startups Weekly: What the E-Trade deal says about Robinhood
Eric Eldon

[Editor’s note: Want to get this weekly review of news that startups can use by email? Just subscribe here.]  How well do Robinhood’s financials stack up against incumbent online brokerages? While we wait for the seven-year-old company’s long-planned IPO, Alex Wilhelm examined Morgan Stanley’s big $13 billion purchase of E-Trade for fresh data comparison points. Robinhood […]

Get a……. on

Can you complete this English expression? It means “to hurry”. Get a…….. on a) move b) hurry c) fast d) speedy The answer is below!↓   Answer: a) move Get a move on