But I am a man - FML

Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML

New deal - FML

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

Not a lesson! - FML

Today I was dogsitting, and when I let my charge out, she ate her poop before I could clean it up. Then, she thought it would be a good idea to lick my face. Repeatedly. FML

Stupid cat - FML

Today, as I was getting dressed for my big date, my cat pooped on my only shoes. FML

I am still young - FML

Today, I was sitting in the waiting room with my two-month-old son. A sweet little old lady came up to me and said, "maybe if you knew how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't have a baby at 15, slut". I'm 23 and married. FML

Camera maker Insta360 raises $30M as it eyes 2020 IPO
Rita Liao

Insta360, one of the pioneers in making 360-degree cameras, just raised $30 million in a Series C+ funding round from Chinese investors, including Everest Venture Capital, MG Holdings and Huajin Capital. The Shenzhen-based camera maker declined to disclose its latest valuation. It plans to use the fresh proceeds in research and development, marketing and after-sales services […]

Hasselblad’s new medium format camera is a tiny, beautiful nod to history
Devin Coldewey

While mirrorless cameras accelerate into the future, medium format models are hearkening unto the past — and Hasselblad chief among them. Its new digital back fits lenses going back to the '50s, and the tiny 907X camera body is about as lovely a throwback as one can imagine.

Still alive ? - FML

Today, Finally had the guts to confess to a guy I have liked for a year now and he said he also likes me and then asked me out. I got out of my way and traveled 4 hours to meet him, but he did not show up and never apologized about it. Never heard anything from him even now. FML

My family - FML

Today, I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML

Long thought - FML

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

Going fast: Buy a demo table at TC Sessions: Robotics & AI 2020
Emma Comeau

Startup founders set your sites on TC Sessions: Robotics & AI, which takes place on March 3, 2020. This annual day-long event draws the brightest minds and makers from these two industries — 1,500 attendees last year alone. And if you really want to make 2020 a game-changing year, grab yourself a demo table and […]

Sean Parker’s Brigade/Causes acquired by govtech app Countable
Josh Constine

Causes grew to a jaw-dropping 200 million users as one of the first ten Facebook platform apps. Started by Facebook co-founder Sean Parker, it was meant to turn a generation into activists and philanthropists. Causes acquired Votizen to augment shallow clicktivism with a way to remind friends to vote. But after Facebook went mobile and […]

Electric vehicle charging software EV Connect raises $12 million
Kirsten Korosec

EV Connect, the Los Angeles-based company that sells software to manage electric vehicle charging, has raised $12 million in a Series B round led by investors Mitsui & Co. and Ecosystem Integrity Fund. The company has raised $25 million to date. EV Connect’s cloud-based platform has an open standard architecture that is designed to be […]

American Airlines starts trialing Google Nest Hubs as translators in its lounges
Frederic Lardinois

Delta is keynoting CES today and launching a slew of updates to its digital services. Its competitors don’t want to be left behind, of course, so it’s probably no surprise that American Airlines also made a small but nifty tech announcement today. In partnership with Google, American will start trialing Google Nest Hubs and the […]

Razer shows off Sila, the first 5G router built for gaming
Ingrid Lunden

Gaming — with its huge demands on bandwidth, graphics and overall processing power — is likely to be one of the big use cases for 5G networking in the future, and today one of the big players in consumer gaming hardware showed off a 5G router that underscores that trend. Razer, the consumer electronics upstart […]

Don’t wait – First ticket release of 2020 for 3rd Annual Winter Party at Galvanize
Emma Comeau

If you haven’t scored a ticket yet to our 3rd Annual Winter Party at Galvanize, now’s your chance. We just released another batch of tickets to the best Silicon Valley soiree. Shake off your post-holiday doldrums and join the movers and shakers of the startup community at Galvanize in San Francisco on February 7. Last year, […]

Winner - FML

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I am his girlfriend - FML

Today, right after sex, my boyfriend told me that I was as good as a man, and all that I was missing was a strap-on penis. FML

Both parents - FML

Today, I was having a sleepover with some friends. After they all fell asleep, I planned on doing a few pranks. So when I went to the bathroom to get a bowl of water, I found out that my parents were masturbating in the bath tub. FML...

Stay safe - FML

Today, I walked into my best friend's house and her mom threw a box of condoms at me and said "stay safe slut." FML

Second time - FML

Today, I found myself locked in a bathroom for the second time in my life. This time at least I was at home. I live alone. I had to break the window on the shower door and crawl out. Now, I need to crawl in/out to shower, brush my teeth and more. FML

Volcanic eruption - FML

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

What? - FML

Today, I went into my parents’ room to borrow a shirt, my dad gave me permission and everything. As soon as I walk in there I see a vibrator on the bed. FML


Do you know the English adjective “distraught“? Read the conversation below. Can you guess the meaning? Bill: How did you feel when you heard you had lost your job? Mike: I was distraught. I’ve just bought a house, so it’s really bad timing. Does it mean: a) very happy b) very upset c) very scared … Continue reading Distraught

Bite (someone’s) head off

Do you know the English expression “to bite (someone’s) head off“? Read the conversation below. Can you guess the meaning? Bob: You look upset. What happened? George: I just asked my boss for more details about the project and he bit my head off! He said I should know all the details! Does it mean: … Continue reading Bite (someone’s) head off

Sent photos - FML

Today, while releasing space on my wife's cell phone, I found her nudes on the WhatsApp sent folder, none was sent to me... FML

Jolt raises $14.1M for its ‘pay-monthly’ business school
Steve O'Hear

Jolt, an education startup that describes itself as an alternative to traditional MBA courses, has raised $14.1 million in Series A funding. The round is led by Balderton Capital, with participation from Hillsven Capital and Octopus Ventures. It brings Jolt’s total funding to $23.3 million in three years. The company plans to use the additional […]

Grab ‘em quick: More tickets released for 3rd Annual Winter Party at Galvanize
Emma Comeau

You better move fast if you want to party with us and 1,000 of your closest startup entrepreneur and investor friends. We just released a fresh round of tickets to our 3rd Annual Winter Party at Galvanize in San Francisco on February 7. Tickets are limited, and they fly off the shelf faster than you […]

Skyqraft, a startup using AI and drones for electricity power-line inspection, raises $505K
Steve O'Hear

Skyqraft, a Swedish startup using AI and drones for electricity power-line inspection, has picked up $505,000 in early backing. Leading the round is “startup generator” and investor Antler, with participation from a number of angels including Claes Ekström and Tomas Kåberger. Founded in March 2019 and launched that September, Skyqraft provides what it calls “smart” […]

Blame (someone)…. (something)

Can you complete this English phrase? “My boss blamed me …… the bad sales results.” a) to b) of c) for d) in The answer is below!↓   c) for “My boss blamed me for the bad sales results.”