#Family

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Health, Pregnancy and Exhausted: Knackered - FML
FMyLife

Today, I'm six weeks pregnant and so far I've had more naps than I've had in my entire adulthood. My last pregnancy I got put on sick leave, partly because I was so exhausted. Here we go again. FML

Mombox is a curated kit of postnatal products that puts new moms first
Jordan Crook

Just last week, General Catalyst’s Peter Boyce explained how one of the most important things he looks for in a founder is a personal connection to the problem they’re solving. Kate Westervelt is one such founder. Westervelt founded Mombox, a curated kit of postnatal care products focused squarely on the mom rather than the child. […]

Kids and Parenting: Not for me - FML
FMyLife

Today, I told my husband I might want a baby, so he took me to visit his best friend who has a toddler and we stayed for an hour. I no longer want a baby. I want the pill wrapped in 2 condoms and a joint vasectomy/hysterectomy paid for with my non-baby disposable income, and my husband now has a shit eating grin. FML

Health, Pregnancy and Grandparents: Comedic timing - FML
FMyLife

Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML

Kids, Parenting and Food: They'll have anyone these days - FML
FMyLife

Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML

Kids, Pregnancy, Awkward, Teenagers and Grandparents: Kids these days… - FML
FMyLife

Today, I became a grandmother. At 44 years-old. My son is 15. FML

Pregnancy, Alcohol, Weird and Motherhood: Family portrait - FML
FMyLife

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

Awkward, Babies and Motherhood: Good kid - FML
FMyLife

Today, my mother told me that for a period when I was a baby, every night she stood over my crib with a bottle of bourbon and a gun, convincing herself not to shoot me for ruining her life by being born when she was only 18. I wish I could be more like my siblings, who don't visit her anymore. FML

Health, Pregnancy and Poopoo peepee: The joys of motherhood - FML
FMyLife

Today, I've had such bad constipation during my fourth pregnancy that I have now had to manually scoop the poop out of my ass to get things moving again. FML

Kids, Parenting, Awkward and Babies: Teamwork - FML
FMyLife

Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML

Kids and Pregnancy: Empathy - FML
FMyLife

Today, I had a miscarriage. My partner doesn't understand why I'm upset, saying, "It wasn't even a real baby yet." FML

Kids and Parenting: Distant - FML
FMyLife

Today, when my husband told me years ago he wanted to parent just like his dad used to, I had no idea that meant helping with practical stuff like cooking and nappy changing, but otherwise ignoring our kid's emotional well-being and telling them to buzz off when they try to talk to him. FML

Parenting, Sleep and Babies: Hush - FML
FMyLife

Today, after 6 months of my baby sleeping 10 hours through the night, she's now going through sleep regression a week before I return to work. I'm now getting about 3 hours of broken sleep per night. FML

Parenting, Trans Rights, Relatable, Compliment, Housework and Parents: Gender bending - FML
FMyLife

Today, at age thirty, my dad gave me the first compliment he's ever given me: "Remember to wash the pan out. Oh, and good job doing your chores and your mother's today." And everyone wonders why it took until last year for me to figure out I'm the same gender as this shitbag. FML

Health and Pregnancy: The joys of pregnancy - FML
FMyLife

Today, I've had a cold for over a week, and I've been coughing so hard, I bruised my ribs. I'm also 8 months pregnant. Guess where my son likes to kick me. FML

Kids, Health, Pregnancy and Babies: The joys of motherhood - FML
FMyLife

Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML

Health, Relatable, Babies and Breastfeeding: Very helpful, dude - FML
FMyLife

Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML

Kids, Parenting and Awkward: Great parenting - FML
FMyLife

Today, my kids' mother, who has been absent and living in a different state for over 12 years, sent a children services worker to my house with a long list of allegations, even though she's 25k behind in support, rather than try to build a normal relationship with her kids in any kind of healthy way. FML

Meet Bobbie, a baby formula delivery startup promising healthier ingredients
Sarah Buhr

Don’t like the idea of your baby guzzling down liquid candy all day? It may surprise you to find corn syrup is the main ingredient in most infant formulas in the U.S. That’s where Bobbie, a Bay Area-based baby formula delivery startup promising only wholesome ingredients hopes to fill in. Just go down the baby […]

Parenting and Motherhood: Give us a hand - FML
FMyLife

Today, I'm solely responsible for my kids, entirely, while my husband goes to the gym, his office, goes running, and plays with his buddies. He wanted kids; I didn't. FML

Kids, Parenting, Babies and Boredom: Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks - FML
FMyLife

Today, I was prepared for it to be difficult being a parent, but it's actually super easy. What I wasn't prepared for was just how boring it would be after my husband returned to work and I was left alone. All she does is sleep, so the whole house is scrubbed clean, and I'm climbing the walls from sheer bloody boredom. FML

Kids, Pregnancy and Relatable: No rest for the wicked - FML
FMyLife

Today, our youngest daughter bought her first house and moved out, meaning all three of our kids are now gone, so we can relax and gracefully grow old together, right? Nope. Barely an hour later, my wife showed me a positive pregnancy test. In nine months we have to start all over again. FML

Kids, Pregnancy and Parents: Judge Judy - FML
FMyLife

Today, my mother refuses to acknowledge my girlfriend and refuses to accept the baby she is carrying as her real grandchild, all because my girlfriend has tattoos, which apparently makes her a "whore", so the baby could be from any other guy except me. FML

Kids, Parenting, Parents and Argument: BEHAVE! - FML
FMyLife

Today, my son and I were arguing, and my wife yelled at us that the reason we don't get along is because we have identical personalities. She then kicked us out until we learn to get along, so we're sleeping in the freezing caravan, sharing a blanket that's only 6 feet wide and was last used for the cat to give birth. FML

Health and Pregnancy: Sixth sense - FML
FMyLife

Today, I started crying at work for absolutely no reason. My pregnant coworker walked up to me and said, "Pregnancy hormones, huh?" I never even told her I was pregnant. FML

Family, Annoying and Babies: Leave us alone - FML
FMyLife

Today, my husband and mother started supplementing my newborn son with formula, because they are such control freaks and don't like my son getting attached to me. He was doing very well while exclusively breastfed according to the doctor. But it looks like my happiness or my son's well-being is of zero importance. FML

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