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Very frustrating - FML

Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him full force dead center in the chest right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML


Do you know the English adjective “exquisite“? Read the conversation below. Can you guess the meaning? Joyce: Have you been to the jewellery exhibition at the museum yet? Nina: Yes, I have. I enjoyed it. Some of the items are really exquisite. Does it mean: a) ugly b) expensive c) shiny d) very beautiful The … Continue reading Exquisite

New shampoo - FML

Today washed my hair and I saw a brand new shampoo my husband bought, thinking great, I washed my beautiful platinum hair with dye for grey hair. Now my platinum blonde turned into grayish blue. FML

As Alphabet crests the $1T mark, SaaS stocks reach all-time highs of their own
Alex Wilhelm

Continuing our irregular surveys of the public markets, two things happened this week that are worth our time. First, a third domestic technology company — Alphabet — passed the $1 trillion market capitalization threshold. And, second, software as a service (SaaS) stocks reached record highs on the public markets after retreating over last summer. The […]

Eaze’s struggles reflect falling VC interest in cannabis startups
Alex Wilhelm

Hello and welcome back to our regular morning look at private companies, public markets and the gray space in between. Yesterday, TechCrunch reported that Eaze, a well-known cannabis-focused startup, is struggling to stay in business amidst a cash crunch, leadership turmoil, banking issues and a business model pivot. It’s a compelling, critical read. The news, however, […]

After shower - FML

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the locks broke) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

Harvestr gathers user feedback in one place
Romain Dillet

Meet Harvestr, a software-as-a-service startup that wants to help product managers centralize customer feedback from various places. Product managers can then prioritize outstanding issues and feature requests. Finally, the platform helps you get back to your customers once changes have been implemented. The company just raised a $650,000 funding round led by Bpifrance with various […]

Discount student tickets available for TC Sessions: Mobility 2020
Emma Comeau

“Revolutionary” may be an over-used adjective, but how else to describe the rapid evolution in mobility technology? Join us in San Jose, Calif., on May 14 for TC Sessions: Mobility 2020. Our second annual day-long conference cuts through the hype and explores the current and future state of the technology and its social, regulatory and […]

Everything is clean - FML

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

Chinese podcasting and audio content app Lizhi debuts on Nasdaq
Catherine Shu

Lizhi, one of China’s biggest audio content apps, is debuting on Nasdaq today under the ticker symbol LIZI. It is the first of its major competitors, Ximalaya and Dragonfly, to go public (though Ximalaya is expected to also list in the United States later this year). Lizhi is offering 4.1 million shares at an IPO […]

Cannabis marketing company Fyllo acquires CannaRegs for $10M
Anthony Ha

Fyllo, a digital marketing company focused on the cannabis industry, has acquired CannaRegs, a website offering subscription access to state and municipal cannabis regulations. Fyllo founder and CEO Chad Bronstein (pictured above) said his company paid $10 million in cash and stock. Bronstein previously served as chief revenue officer at digital marketing company Amobee, and […]

We’ve gone Plaid #
Alex Wilhelm

Hello and welcome back to Equity, TechCrunch’s venture capital-focused podcast, where we unpack the numbers behind the headlines. This week Danny and Alex were back together to riff over a the latest early-stage rounds, the latest on the late-stage front, and more. It was yet another stacked week, forcing us to pick and choose a bit. […]

Xiaomi spins off POCO as an independent brand
Manish Singh

Xiaomi said today it is spinning off POCO, a sub-brand it created in 2018, as a standalone brand that will now run independently of the Chinese electronics giant and make its own market strategy. Manu Kumar Jain, VP of Xiaomi, said Poco has grown into its own identity in a short span of time. “POCO […]

Nice pic - FML

Today, for the first time in my life, I sent a member pic to a girl I had been talking to for a few days on Snapchat. (she had asked me for it). She saw the pic, and blocked me. FML

Take ….. a new hobby

Can you complete this sentence? It means to start a new hobby. “I’m going to take …. a new hobby this year.” a) off b) up c) for d) out The answer is below! ↓   Answer: b) up “I’m going to take up a new hobby this year.”

SpinLaunch spins up a $35M round to continue building its space catapult
Devin Coldewey

SpinLaunch, a company that aims to turn the launch industry on its head with a wild new concept for getting to orbit, has raised a $35M round B to continue its quest. The team has yet to demonstrate their kinetic launch system, but this year will be the year that changes, they claim.

Unknown number - FML

Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML

Visa’s Plaid acquisition shows a shifting financial services landscape
Ron Miller

When Visa bought Plaid this week for $5.3 billion, a figure that was twice its private valuation, it was a clear signal that traditional financial services companies are looking for ways to modernize their approach to business. With Plaid, Visa picks up a modern set of developer APIs that work behind the scenes to facilitate […]

SiteMinder raises $70M at $750M valuation after cresting $70M ARR in 2019
Alex Wilhelm

Today SiteMinder, an Australian software company focused on the hotel industry, announced a $70 million (USD) round that values the company at $750 million. That’s about $1.08 billion in Australian dollars, making the firm a Down Under Unicorn, even if it’s a bit shy here in America. According to SiteMinder, the round was “led by […]

Very bad idea - FML

Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML

Hyundai and Kia put over $110M into UK electric delivery vehicles startup Arrival
Mike Butcher

Forget the consumer market for electric vehicles. It turns out delivery vehicles could be the “Trojan horse” for electric to really take off. Korean auto giants Hyundai and Kia put more than $110 million in U.K. startup Arrival, which emerged from relative stealth today. The investment immediately makes Arrival one of Britain’s most valuable startups, […]

Matera raises $11.2 million to let you handle residential property management yourself
Romain Dillet

Matera, the French startup formerly known as illiCopro, is raising a $11.2 million funding round (€10 million). The company has been building a SaaS platform to give you all the tools you need to handle property management for your residential building. Index Ventures is leading the round with existing investor Samaipata also participating. Business angels, […]

I am clumsy! - FML

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

Are OYO’s deep cuts a reality check for unicorns?
Alex Wilhelm

Hello and welcome back to our regular morning look at private companies, public markets and the gray space in between. After a short pause, we’re back on the topic of unicorn layoffs. While it’s cheery that a number of companies are chugging ahead with ARR growth powered by efficient spend, not every company has taken […]

Epsagon scores $16M Series A to monitor modern development environments
Ron Miller

Epsagon, an Israeli startup that wants to help monitor modern development environments like serverless and containers, announced a $16 million Series A today. U.S. Venture Partners (USVP), a new investor led the round. Previous investors Lightspeed Venture Partners and StageOne Ventures also participated. Today’s investment brings the total raised to $20 million, according to the […]

Cyral announces $11M Series A to help protect data in cloud
Ron Miller

Cyral, an early stage startup that helps protect data stored in cloud repositories, announced an $11 million Series A today. The company also revealed a previous undisclosed $4.1 million angel investment, making the total $15.1 million. The Series A was led by Redpoint Ventures. A.Capital Ventures, Costanoa VC, Firebolt, SV Angel and Trifecta Capital also […]

Food poisoning - FML

Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML

Getsafe, the German insurtech, brings its contents insurance app to UK
Steve O'Hear

Getsafe, the German insurtech that offers home contents insurance via an app, has launched in the U.K., despite an increasingly competitive market for insurance in the country, and the thorny regulatory issue of Brexit. This has seen Getsafe incorporate an independent British subsidiary based in London, in order to shield it ahead of future political […]

Almost done - FML

Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time. Well, in the midst of going really wild, about to finish, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML.

Apply …… (something)

Can you complete this sentence? “I applied …… a new job yesterday.” a) to b) with c) in d) for The answer is below!↓   Answer: d) for “I applied for a new job yesterday.”