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Today, I was shaving my vagina in the shower when my brother opened the door unexpectedly. It scared me and well, I cut my vagina. FML

Let's take a look at how elevated stock prices remain and what that means for tech multiples, and then look at the January and February VC markets in U.S., China and Europe.

Hello and welcome back to Equity, TechCrunch’s venture capital-focused podcast, where we unpack the numbers behind the headlines. What a week. What an insane, heart-stopping, odd, and stuffed week. I’m utterly exhausted. But, in better news, all of that great fodder for podcast and chat, so today’s Equity is pretty ok if I may say so. […]

Today, I got my period. I also cough a lot...Only woman can undrestand my problem. FML

Today, after a bad break up, a cute girl contacted me through social media. After hooking up I find out it's my ex girlfriend. FML

Today, I got a very accusing phone call from my daughters teacher. According to my daughter, I absolutely refuse to let her eat in the morning. In reality, I told her it’s her responsibility to get herself up and get breakfast on her own before we leave. My daughter is 17yrs old. FML

Sally wants to buy a house.  She saves very hard and after 3 years, she has enough money to buy a very small house.  She is very excited. But now Sally has a big problem. She has a house but it is empty. She needs furniture but she has very little money. Her mother gives … Continue reading [Short Story] The Mirror

Stem, a startup that helps independent musicians get paid, is expanding with a new financing program called Scale. Co-founder and CEO Milana Rabkin Lewis described the company’s core offering as a way for collaborators to “memorialize the split” of the proceeds from a song — once they’ve uploaded a track, Scale can automatically handle splitting […]

A quick hit as we have a podcast to record, but a few public companies in the broader SaaS market reported earnings in the past week. Their results are worth unpacking as they paint a good picture of what the markets are hunting for in modern software companies. Of course, we’re covering the firms’ share-price […]

Following a successful debut for Tinder’s first foray into original content, the company is giving its interactive video series “Swipe Night” another run. The company confirmed today it’s renewing “Swipe Night” for a second season that will launch this summer, again as an in-app experience within Tinder’s dating app. Variety first reported the news of […]

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

Earlier today, during an eye-popping market selloff, DoorDash announced that it has privately filed to go public. The decision to file privately will allow the high-valued startup to get its S-1 documents in good order with the SEC before showing the rest of us what it has up its sleeve. The move to announce its private […]

DoorDash prepares to go public, Roblox raises $150 million and Reddit’s CEO takes aim at TikTok. Here’s your Daily Crunch for February 27, 2020. 1. DoorDash, the $13B on-demand food delivery startup, says it has confidentially filed for an IPO The company said that its Form S-1 (a draft registration statement) was filed with the […]

Today, I decide to let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life, then a few days after we used melted chocolate I got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML

The Raspberry Pi Foundation has updated its flagship model, the Raspberry Pi 4. It’s still the same awesome tiny single-board computer with a lot of connectors. But the entry level now comes with 2GB of RAM instead of 1GB of RAM for the same price of $35. The foundation says that RAM prices have been […]

The on-demand food delivery wars continue to heat up in the U.S. DoorDash announced today that it has filed confidentially to go public. The company noted that its Form S-1, a draft registration statement, was filed with the SEC and is now being reviewed. It did not say how many shares it would potentially sell, […]

The impact of the coronavirus known as COVID-19 is starting to show up in U.S.-based technology earnings, and it's something we need to discuss.

Today, on our way to home from work, I farted so bad in the car that my husband gagged and almost threw up swerving the car we almost had a car accident. FML

SparkLabs Group announced today that it has launched SparkLabs Connex, the latest program in its network of startup accelerators and venture funds. Focused on real estate technology (proptech) and the Internet of Things, SparkLabs Connex will tap into startup ecosystems in Silicon Valley, Seoul, Shenzhen, Taipei and Singapore. The program will support startups working with […]

Dahmakan, a full-stack food delivery startup based in Malaysia, announced today that it has closed a $18 million Series B. Investors include Rakuten Capital, White Star Capital, JAFCO Asia and GEC-KIP Fund, along with participation from South Korean food delivery app Woowa Brothers, and returning investors Partech Partners and Y Combinator. This brings Dahmakan’s total […]

Today, the girl I realized I really liked told me she liked me back but didn’t want a relationship. A week later she hooks up with a random bartender and now she’s talking to me about changing her mind about something serious with him. FML

Today, I came home from work and I find that my boyfriend gave my dog away. FML

Do you know the English expression “to be highly strung”? Read the conversation below. Can you guess the meaning? Lucy: You are so highly strung. Why don’t you relax a bit? Martin: I can’t, I have my exam tomorrow! Does it mean: a) exciting b) nervous and easily upset c) crying d) furious The answer … Continue reading Highly strung

Weeks after Uber exited India’s food delivery market, conceding defeat to local giants Swiggy and Zomato, a new player is gearing up to challenge the heavily-backed duopoly: Amazon. The e-commerce giant plans to enter the Indian food delivery market in the coming weeks, a person familiar with the matter told TechCrunch. The launch of the […]

It’s T-minus one week to the big day, March 3, when more than 1,000 startuppers will convene in San Jose, Calif. for TC Sessions: Robotics + AI 2020. We’re talking a hefty cross-section representing big companies and exciting new startups. We’re talking some of the most innovative thinkers, makers, researchers, investors and influencers — all […]

When it comes to the so-called “consumerization of the enterprise,” a workplace tool that looks an awful lot like Pinterest seems like it would be the trend’s final form. Brooklyn-based Air is building a digital asset manager for communications teams that aren’t satisfied with more general cloud storage options and want something that can show […]

Cartesiam, a startup that aims to bring machine learning to edge devices powered by microcontrollers, has launched a new tool for developers who want an easier way to build services for these devices. The new NanoEdge AI Studio is the first IDE specifically designed for enabling machine learning and inferencing on Arm Cortex-M microcontrollers, which […]

Today, I ask the guy that I like if he want to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He answer that he doesn't like their food. I think that's is a no. FML

Today, I decide that when I will have a free weekend I will study, but instead of that my girlfriend wants to fuck with me every chance she gets. So I can forget the weekend of study. FML

Let's chat about fintech customer acquisition costs and the rise of card-focused plays inside of the category.