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Good and bad board members (and what to do about them)
Connie Loizos

Ryan Caldbeck, co-founder and former CEO of consumer-brands-focused crowdfunding site CircleUp, recently published an email he’d written to a former director on the board of the company. According to Caldbeck, he wrote the letter after CircleUp had bought out the investor’s firm because he wanted to provide constructive feedback, given that this individual’s “involvement was […]

The art of seduction - FML

Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML

Decrypted: How Twitter was hacked, GitHub DMCA backfires
Zack Whittaker

One week to the U.S. presidential election and things are getting spicy. It’s not just the rhetoric — hackers are actively working to disrupt the election, officials have said, and last week they came with a concrete example and an unusually quick pointing of blame. On Wednesday night, Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe blamed […]

What would Databricks be worth in a 2021 IPO?
Alex Wilhelm

TechCrunch recently covered Databricks’ financial performance in 2020, contrasting its recent performance to some historical 2019 data that the company shared. The data-and-analysis focused unicorn grew its annual run rate 75% to $350 million, compared to its year-ago quarter, meaning that the firm is growing well at scale. TechCrunch described it as “an obvious IPO […]

Ghosts! - FML

Today I woke up feeling good and ready for my online business class final, only to find that it had somehow been submitted and graded with a zero. FML

Pinterest’s new widget brings photos from favorite boards to your iOS 14 homescreen
Sarah Perez

As iPhone owners began customizing their iOS 14 homescreens with new widgets and custom icons, Pinterest iOS downloads and searches surged as the app became a top source for design ideas and inspiration. Today, Pinterest is more directly joining the homescreen customization trend with its own iOS 14 widget of its own. Last month, Pinterest […]

Ant Group could raise as much as $34.5B in IPO in what would be world’s largest IPO
Alex Wilhelm

The long-anticipated IPO of Alibaba-affiliated Chinese fintech giant Ant Group could raise tens of billions of dollars in a dual-listing on both the Shanghai and Hong Kong exchanges. Shares for the company formerly known as Ant Financial are expected to price at around HK$80, or roughly 68 to 69 Chinese Yuan. The company is selling […]

Equity Monday: SAP’s warning, and IPO updates for both Airbnb and Databricks
Alex Wilhelm

Hello and welcome back to Equity, TechCrunch’s venture capital-focused podcast where we unpack the numbers behind the headlines. This is Equity Monday, our weekly kickoff that tracks the latest big news, chats about the coming week, digs into some recent funding rounds and mulls over a larger theme or narrative from the private markets. You can […]

Sounds like a catch - FML

Today, my ex called and said he still loved me. I said I’d move across the country to be with him. Then he said we could live in his dad’s house, so I can protect him from his sister’s best friend, who gave him chlamydia. At the end of call, he said he’s seeing someone and he likes her because she buys him gifts and food. FML

Water quality and distribution monitoring software Ketos raises $18 million
Jonathan Shieber

Water quality and logistics monitoring software Ketos has raised $15 million from a group of investors to take advantage of the growing demand for better water management tools and technologies. The potential for more stringent regulatory oversight of industrial water use and wastewater management from local, state and federal government, coupled with increasing consumer and […]

Our House - FML

Today, I found out I have another leak in my house. I've had three inspections and they were all shit. At this point, that pipe is the only remaining original pipe in the entire house. Over 25k have officially gone into this BS. Note to all: go "new." FML

Cake, eating it… - FML

Today, I'm in an open marriage and had to admit to myself that I caught feels for my "friend with benefits" who was only interested in the "benefits" part and I had to break it off. I already miss the sex. FML

Laugh (one’s) ……. ……

Can you complete this English expression? It means to laugh a lot and loudly. Laugh (one’s) …….. ……… a) eyes out b) mouth out c) head off d) shoulders off The answer is below!↓ Answer: c) head off Laugh (one’s) head off! By I Talk You Talk Press – Easy English Reading

Just a prank, bro! - FML

Today my brother disconnected my internet and made my task bar disappear. I spent 2 hours trying to fix it, when I figured out I just had to restart the computer. Now I'm a little behind on assignments. FML

Can they do that? - FML

Today, we got a call saying there was a police report filed against us, after my car got hit while I was at work a few days ago. They lied about everything, and now my insurance is dropping us FML

Poker Face - FML

Today, I have to get a thyroid ultrasound. I'm a 25 year-old cancer survivor; it took amputating my left leg to beat the last one. My doctor has dealt with my hypochondria for years, long enough to know his face when I should be worried. FML

Don't know, don't care - FML

Today, my boss still won't believe in climate change, and won't do anything to reduce our carbon footprint. FML

It wasn't me - FML

Today, my mom blamed me for her family knowing about my dad cheating on her. She has forgiven him after multiple affairs with different ladies, yet she blames me that her family found out because they question her decision to be with him. FML

Drink it instead! - FML

Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML

Barf - FML

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

Pants on fire - FML

Today, I found out that my mother doesn't have Alzheimer's disease. This would be joyous news, except for the fact that one year prior to this day my grandmother lied to me so that I'd stay closer to home. I've been worrying over a nonexistent illness for an entire year. FML

Read …… on (something)

Can you complete this English expression? It means “to read a lot about something” Read …… on (something) a) out b) up c) over d) into The answer is below!↓ Answer: b) up Read up on (something)! By I Talk You Talk Press – Easy English Reading

Smooth sailing - FML

Today, I found out the man I've been wanting to marry for a year and a half wants us to take a break. FML


Today, I just spent 3 hours at work reading FML posts and giggling at my desk. For the blurred out posts, I was moving my desk chair back to read what they said while squinting. I just realized I can hover the mouse and it will be clear and not blurry anymore. Now I have a headache and got in trouble with my boss. FML

QAnon weirdoes - FML

Today, some idiot with a #saveourchildren shirt followed me around a store. When I finally asked the fucker what their problem was, they started screaming, asking why I was holding hands with black children that obviously didn’t belong to me. I’m white. Their mom is black. They’re my kids. FML

Supply and demand - FML

Today, I spotted my dad watching a wildlife/nature video. I pointed out to him that the animal on the screen was critically endangered; he rebutted by telling me that it's impossible for the animal on the screen to go extinct because people keep hunting it. FML

Thanks, mom - FML

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

No, Drake, no - FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking near a pond when we saw a drake forcefully mating with a duck. She burst into tears and demanded I stop them. When I told her no, that it’s just nature and thats how they breed, she dumped me for supporting and "enabling rape." FML

Classic Dave - FML

Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML

The past that suits you best - FML

Today, I found out that sorting and deleting old unnecessary emails to free up space meant reliving the most horrific memories I've ever experienced. Worse yet, I have to keep certain old messages in case these things ever come up again. FML